"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire" -- Charles Bukowski

Friday, July 22, 2011

Drinking With Autoimmune

 What do you do when you feel like your autoimmune disease is taking over your social life? 
Tonight, for the first time, I was put in a social situation where all of my friends were dancing and drinking, and there I was standing in the kitchen, in too much pain to do much of anything and on too much medication to drink. There was vodka everywhere (my favorite) and friends that didn’t know better consistently offered to make me a drink or asked me to do a shot with them.

I like to party. I party in moderation, but when I do I generally go hard. When I am sober, though, I’m a huge wallflower. I get anxious around lots of people in social situations (even my closest friends), but after a drink or two I’m bubbly, I come out of my shell and always have a great time. So what was I supposed to do tonight? Especially with an ex boyfriend coming. Talk about awkward.

It became tempting to do a shot

Then it became overwhelming

And then it became depressing.

So I left. I left and I cried the entire way home (still crying, might I add), not because I couldn’t drink, but because I want to party like the rest of my friends and enjoy their company, be able to play beer pong without hurting my wrists and focus on something other than pain, and because I know I have to let go of the life I had prior to being sick at least for the time being. Sometimes, I just can’t let that go.

Doing my best not to have a pity party (no longer teary), but I hate having to give up so much because my body does not function correctly. Thankfully my friend up in Orlando for summer surprised me by coming into town tonight and it was great timing— I needed her. Snail, if you’re reading this, I love you :)!

So what do you do in those situations? Most of the time I cope well, but I can’t quite figure out how to manage the social life I had before with the diseases I have now. I’m eager to hear your input: What do you do when you feel like your autoimmune disease is taking over your social life?

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